In the last 48 hours, I have purchased music from three different independent label artists, dried a load of laundry on a clothesline, and exercised two days in a row. I like to believe that I am continually becoming a more mature and contributing adult, but the truth is that 48-hour periods like this, filled with all this local hero activity as listed above, are rare.
Motive-check, everyone! : I only bought that music to ease the guilt I feel for listening to music left under my pillow by the Music Fairy, or gained by other means. I only dried my clothes on hangers outside because my Taiwanese dryer wasn’t working, and I was motivated to work out only because I care about what others think of my fluctuating, moving-over-seas-and-back body weight. I wasn’t rebelling against the injustice of media-pirating, or actively protecting the air of my already super-smoggy city of Taipei, nor was I exercising with the Christian virtue of “taking care of my temple.” It was all about me.
Why do you the good things that make you a “good person”? Beware. Insecurity, guilt, and pride in their subtlest, most minuscule forms, turn out to be the most dangerous. Those are the kind that eat away at your true compassion for other people slowly and painlessly. Are you at your job just to build your resume? Are you on the treadmill because someone made a comment under their breath about your weight, or how beautiful a celebrity is? Or are you like me, where when 21st century convenience fails, you’re forced to revert back to medieval peasantry and in doing so, you figure you may as well save a polar bear or two? I take an inventory and find that so many of my actions and decisions are aimed through the scope of what I want, what I don’t have and what I fear. I lack faith in so many of my works.
We’ve all heard the “faith without works is dead” shpeel (shpeal? shpiel ?...nope, still underlined). But my mentor and spiritual mother, Suaysi, always reminds me, and I paraphrase: “Faith without works is dead, but works without faith are also dead.” It is one thing, and another blog, to believe that faith without action is rendered lame. But to do good things without the belief that there is some sort of eternal impact...Then, what is the point? Eat, drink and be merry, for we all have the same fate, if that’s the case. Or in doing virtue with ME as my main concern, then where does God have any room to come in and use me to heal someone, or do a miracle, or speak to someone’s hurting heart? Our ego's literally take up space in that sense. How can the Church be the hands and feet if we’re constantly just following our own feet? Follow? “And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him,” says Paul to his church in Colossae. Hmm. I do so much of my life in Kelsey’s name, and what’s worse, without a shred of gratefulness. I make my own commandment: “Love Kelsey, and the second is secondary, love God and others if it’s helpful for your cause.”
So, here I am back in Taipei, Taiwan. I’m not pretending to be in some dire missionary, “Oh my word, Kelsey is such a good Christian” type of life circumstance, because I’m not. I’m too comfortable for comfort, actually. But I am learning thankfulness and the truth that everything I do and say has some sort of eternal significance in the lives of those around me. And every day in the comfort of my swivel chair [for which I’m very thankful!] and in my nice little westernized east Asian city, God gives me this opportunity: “Die to yourself, and do everything in My name. Buy music for My glory. Be physically healthy for My sake. Teach French and slave over your syllabi and take care of the ozone layer for the praise of My name.”
So, here’s my parting thought for you to take home, er, to heart: Faith without works is dead, but works without faith are also dead...kinda like a palindrome like wow, mom, or racecar. Now you’ll never forget it! Aww, there’s the teacher in me.
So long, for now!
Motive-check, everyone! : I only bought that music to ease the guilt I feel for listening to music left under my pillow by the Music Fairy, or gained by other means. I only dried my clothes on hangers outside because my Taiwanese dryer wasn’t working, and I was motivated to work out only because I care about what others think of my fluctuating, moving-over-seas-and-back body weight. I wasn’t rebelling against the injustice of media-pirating, or actively protecting the air of my already super-smoggy city of Taipei, nor was I exercising with the Christian virtue of “taking care of my temple.” It was all about me.
Why do you the good things that make you a “good person”? Beware. Insecurity, guilt, and pride in their subtlest, most minuscule forms, turn out to be the most dangerous. Those are the kind that eat away at your true compassion for other people slowly and painlessly. Are you at your job just to build your resume? Are you on the treadmill because someone made a comment under their breath about your weight, or how beautiful a celebrity is? Or are you like me, where when 21st century convenience fails, you’re forced to revert back to medieval peasantry and in doing so, you figure you may as well save a polar bear or two? I take an inventory and find that so many of my actions and decisions are aimed through the scope of what I want, what I don’t have and what I fear. I lack faith in so many of my works.
We’ve all heard the “faith without works is dead” shpeel (shpeal? shpiel ?...nope, still underlined). But my mentor and spiritual mother, Suaysi, always reminds me, and I paraphrase: “Faith without works is dead, but works without faith are also dead.” It is one thing, and another blog, to believe that faith without action is rendered lame. But to do good things without the belief that there is some sort of eternal impact...Then, what is the point? Eat, drink and be merry, for we all have the same fate, if that’s the case. Or in doing virtue with ME as my main concern, then where does God have any room to come in and use me to heal someone, or do a miracle, or speak to someone’s hurting heart? Our ego's literally take up space in that sense. How can the Church be the hands and feet if we’re constantly just following our own feet? Follow? “And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him,” says Paul to his church in Colossae. Hmm. I do so much of my life in Kelsey’s name, and what’s worse, without a shred of gratefulness. I make my own commandment: “Love Kelsey, and the second is secondary, love God and others if it’s helpful for your cause.”
So, here I am back in Taipei, Taiwan. I’m not pretending to be in some dire missionary, “Oh my word, Kelsey is such a good Christian” type of life circumstance, because I’m not. I’m too comfortable for comfort, actually. But I am learning thankfulness and the truth that everything I do and say has some sort of eternal significance in the lives of those around me. And every day in the comfort of my swivel chair [for which I’m very thankful!] and in my nice little westernized east Asian city, God gives me this opportunity: “Die to yourself, and do everything in My name. Buy music for My glory. Be physically healthy for My sake. Teach French and slave over your syllabi and take care of the ozone layer for the praise of My name.”
So, here’s my parting thought for you to take home, er, to heart: Faith without works is dead, but works without faith are also dead...kinda like a palindrome like wow, mom, or racecar. Now you’ll never forget it! Aww, there’s the teacher in me.
So long, for now!
Yet another beautifully written post from a beautiful gurrlll (you can explain that one to your friends if you wish). :)
ReplyDeleteFind a blog contest...yeeeessss!!!
Love and miss you so much!
Mom